Divorce can be very chaotic and stressful; use this checklist to keep some order to the chaos and help you ensure you’re not missing something very important.
There is no question that a divorce can be the most disruptive and painful experience one can go through. It is a confusing and lengthy process, and it is natural to be overwhelmed.
Organizing and remaining organized is a means of helping to remain grounded while increasing the odds of a fair outcome in your divorce. This simple divorce checklist can help you keep/get on track.
Divorce Tasks List
Refer to the following sections for your checklist. You can find information on each step in the details section, whenever you’d like.
Consider Whether You Can Resolve Your Divorce Without Court
Consider whether you think you and your spouse can resolve all the important issues related to your divorce. Common problems include:
- alimony, which is referred to as “spousal support” or “spousal maintenance” in certain states
- division of property and debt; and
- child support and custody, if applicable.
If you and your spouse have been able to agree on all the issues in your case, you can likely go through your divorce without an attorney.
Perhaps you could use a DIY divorce service that offers the forms you need for your state and assists you with drafting a marital settlement agreement (MSA).
When you’ve placed in a marital settlement agreement format all the issues you two have agreed upon, you can both sign it and file it with the court.
If you can’t agree on all the issues, but are near an agreement, a private mediator may be able to help you get across the finish line. Mediators are often able to help couples complete their divorce judgment together.
If you’re unable to agree on each of these issues and you’re far from doing so you may want to consider going to a divorce trial. And of course, seek outside assistance if you have been subjected to domestic violence- more on that below.
Consider Whether You Need to Hire a Divorce Lawyer
It is not necessary to hire a lawyer to obtain a divorce in any state, though it may beneficial for the spouses to each meet with independent attorneys prior to pursuing the divorce or prior to executing the MSA.
While hiring attorneys will most definitely increase your divorce cost it may also save you stress and protect your rights in the end.
If you’re unsure, consider taking our quiz which provides insight about whether the DIY divorce, private mediation, or an attorney may be the best option for you.
If You Have Minor Children, Prepare for the New Parenting Arrangement
As it can be overwhelming for divorced parents to know where to begin to start thinking about, here’s a good place…
Draw a plan. Educate yourself on YOUR state’s custody process and draft a suggested custody arrangement that includes each parent’s visitation with the children, holidays/school breaks, and other “special” occasions.
Make a calendar. Consider developing a calendar to track the children’s time with each parent. This could include communication problems, transportation issues (if applicable), canceled visits or any expenses you have covered.
Collecting Marriage Documents
Create a documents file and compile all paperwork pertaining to your marriage and your estate planning.
Contracts. Obtain copies of any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements as well as all estate planning documents. Specifically, look for copies of wills, living wills, trust documents, powers of attorney, or advance healthcare directives.
- License of marriage. Locate your marriage license and place it somewhere safe.
- Policies on life insurance. Obtain copies of life insurance policies for either party.
Compile Important Financial Documents
Determine what key financial documents you must have.
Assets. Start making a list of all shared property, such as cars, bank accounts, credit card debt, medical bills, retirement accounts, stocks, bonds and anything else you think the court will want to know about.
While disclosure is required by both spouses, not every spouse is cooperative in making it easy and so it’s always best to collect all the information you can now to assist in future proceedings. Provide any details you can possibly recall, but trivial, and do not leave out anything for fear it may not be important. Try to find statements for all different kinds of accounts including brokerage, checking and savings.
- While debts. Seek documentation of your combined debts such as mortgages, auto loans, loans against retirement plans, and student loans.
- Plans for retirement. Collect as much information as possible about any retirement or pension plans that either spouse earned during the marriage.
- Information of pay. If you have access to your spouse’s W-2’s or other pay check information, copy that information and supply it to your attorney.
- Income tax returns. Obtain copies of you and your spouse’s tax returns for the last five to ten years.
Remember safety deposit boxes? Make a list of any contents held in security deposit boxes, the value and ownership of same and the location of the box.
Gather Other Essential Documents
Consider including these other significant documents as well.
- Consumer credit report. Obtain your credit report and know the status of all your finances prior to filing for divorce.
- Login credentials. Document and retain login information for all of your joint accounts. If you are the “out spouse,” avoid revealing your desire to divorce until you have accessed your shared bank accounts, as one partner often controls the finances.
- Documenting the Deeds. Find all documents that evidence property that you own together or separately.
- Titles to vehicles. Make copies of pink slips for cars and trucks that are jointly and separately owned.
Take Steps to Separate Your Life
There’s a laundry list of to-dos associated with beginning your own life. Among those, the following are most significant.
Safeguard your credit. Because it may impact your credit negatively, you might also consider opening a new credit card in your name.
Consult your state laws first as if you open a credit card while you are still married a court may treat this as a community or joint credit card. But, after separation, an important step in keeping your credit healthy during divorce is to open a new account in your name.
Get a bank account sorted. If you and your partner share checking and savings accounts, visit your bank and open a new account under your individual name. Once again, check your state laws to determine if you should wait until legally separated before opening a personal sole account. Opening a new bank account will allow you to manage your own money and you will have access to that account once the divorce is finalized by the judge. Do not move your direct deposit to your new account until directed to do so by your attorney (if you will be utilizing one) or the court. In most states, both spouse’s earnings are considered joint property and withdrawing those funds from joint accounts could have a later impact on your divorce.
Secure your data. Obtain a secure email address and change passwords you may have previously used. Changing the passwords to any social media accounts in your name is a good idea, particularly if you suspect that your spouse will access this information to use against you in the divorce.
Obtain a P.O. box. Obtain a P.O. box in your name if you have an attorney or anticipate receiving any other mail pertaining to your divorce or separation from your spouse so that important documents won’t be accessible to your spouse. If you do not have the option for a P.O. box, you might ask a family member or friend to use their addresses for your lawyer to send mail to.
Locate health insurance. If you are insured through your spouse’s employer, start investigating health care options. For unemployed persons, begin your search for health care at the Affordable Care Act site, or call your local Health and Human Services Department to see if you may receive state assistance.
Prepare an inventory list of your possessions. Make a list of items that are personal to you, such as gifts or family heirlooms.
If you must make these items, wrap them up with a relative but remember to disclose them in the financial or other disclosures when the court or opposing attorney inquires. Remember to also factor in any inheritances received prior to or during the marriage.
Update insurance documentation. In fact, most, if not all, states generally prevent spouses who are divorcing from altering their estate planning documents and insurance policies until the judge has finalized the divorce.
You should definitely update your documents as soon as possible but. Also, if you hold powers of attorney that allow your spouse to make medical or financial decisions for you in the event you are unable, and you no longer wish for your spouse to have that authority, your paperwork must be changed.
Consult with an attorney, if you are uncertain as to how to amend these important legal documents.
Decide Your Living Arrangements
Most divorcing couples can’t financially afford to pay two mortgages or double rent and thus remain living in the same home through the divorce. If cohabitation is not possible, you have to determine which spouse will live in the family home during the court process of the divorce. (Some issues to think about.) If you cannot come to an agreement than you may have to request permission from the court to remain in exclusive possession of the residence until such a time that the judge can divide the property.
Often, with minor children, the custodial parent will remain in the residence to provide stability for the children. If you think your spouse will remain in the family home during the divorce process you should begin searching for housing as soon as possible. But, before you leave the marital home, you may wish to consult with your attorney to ensure that you are not waiving the right to the marital home.
Getting Through the Process
The thought of completing the information needed to even file for divorce will, much less participating in the process of divorce may feel like an impossible task. But you can, and so many have. Accept and understand that it will not all happen at once and take only one step at a time.
Whichever you decide to do, whether to do it yourself, get online assistance, or hire an expert such as a mediator or attorney – use your divorce checklist and support system.
This way, you can survive the process and come out the other side better.
