Here, we'll cover all the tips that will keep you as healthy as possible, both legally and psychologically, during divorce.
Please don’t take our word for it; you’ll reach the other side feeling good and having enough to last you.
Hire an Attorney ASAP
As soon as you think of divorce, it would help if you met with an expert family lawyer. Don’t delay. It’s the thing that people delay months or years before seeking legal advice, thinking that they can deal with it on their own.
But that’s a mistake.
Divorce law is intricate and has minutiae that we need to be brighter to learn for ourselves. If you don’t consult with an expert, you risk forfeiting your fair share of money and assets or giving your children harsh custody agreements. A lawyer is there for you, fighting for you from beginning to end.
At your initial appointment, your attorney will review your case, discuss your options, and review the legal steps involved. They’ll assist with collecting your bank statements, initiate settlement negotiations with your husband, and walk you through completing the divorce papers. By drawing on their knowledge early in your case, you’ll have a leg up as it unfolds.
Putting Your Kids as a Priority
If you have children, you should take care of them at the very least. Children are often thrown into the maelstrom of their parents’ divorce. They will require extra tenderness and care. But by limiting conflict and chaos, you can help them through this rocky ride.
Talk to your kids in a language that they can understand. Be patient and tell them that divorce wasn’t their fault and how much you love them.
Design a routine and steady hours for them to be secure. Be transparent about life shifts. It would help if you took some personal time with each child. And never do negative things about your ex-spouse in front of them.
Co-parenting after divorce can be difficult, especially if trust has been lost. But to protect your children, be courteous to your ex. Work together on essential parenting decisions. Be willing to accommodate visitation as necessary.
And when things get uncomfortable, engage a third party, such as a therapist or mediator.
Look for Support for Your Emotional Wellbeing
There’s no escape from it – divorce hurts. A marital divorce is filled with heartache, anger, a mountain of stress, and exhaustion.
Share all of your feelings with yourself and be proactive about taking care of your mental health at this challenging time. Don’t suppress your emotions; avoid the pain by practicing bad habits. It would help you find your coping mechanisms and people to share them with.
Consider consulting a therapist who is experienced in helping people recover from divorce. You can also find support from others suffering through a divorce support group. Consider the family and friends who inspire and support you. Think about healthy journaling practice, meditation, exercise, or other activities to deal with this stormy period.
Don’t Make Unreasonable Decisions
As a divorcing couple, you will make big decisions regarding your future legal and financial affairs. Avoid choosing things you regret due to fear, resentment, and a "winning" mentality.
Remain focused on safeguarding your long-term wellbeing and that of your children. Accept compromise when necessary to achieve a win-win.
For instance, arguing over joint custody to annoy your ex will put your kids in the intermediary position. That is good for nobody. Release what you feel your ex "deserved" and do what is best for you.
Don’t sign a contract enraged or without your attorney's signature on it. You will not benefit from aggressive threats – stay calm and assertive. It won’t last forever if you resist being seduced by the drama. Get everything straight, be neutral, and leave heavy negotiations to your attorney.
Fix Your Money in Order!
Divorce money is varied and convoluted. There are assets to be parted with, debts to dissolve, investments to be sold, and budgets to be changed—these are just a few examples. You require full access to your money as early as possible to make informed decisions.
Bring in your tax returns, bank statements, credit reports, and other documents to clarify your lawyer and financial professional. List all marital assets and savings accounts. Calculate the value of each - house, pension, investments, company, items of value, etc. Debt: mortgages, credit cards, cars, credit card charges.
Create a new budget because your lifestyle will vary after a divorce. Include rent/mortgage, insurance, children, and how long you want to live. That budget will guide critical financial decisions, such as child support and alimony.
Reprioritize Your Dreams Again
Your plans and your desires can slip into the mess when you’re stuck in a divorce storm. Thinking about the legal and logistical aspects of splitting your life from your ex’s becomes all-consuming. Even after you are divorced, you will feel stuck and empty.
For your new chapter to be healthy, spend the time re-discovering your dreams outside of your former partner. What makes you happy and vibrant? And what are some things you have already set aside? Have you any adventures on your bucket list?
Be Gentle with Yourself
Divorce, without a doubt, is going to push you and push you against the wall. Heartbreaking moments of uncertainty, sorrow, anger, and frustration will accompany tiresome logistical obstacles.
During those rough days, be kind and say kind things to yourself. Give what you want at every turn - a cry? A date night with supportive friends? An extended silence in the woods?
Divorce heals nonlinearly. Expect bumps and bruises as you restore your life. Don’t beat yourself up if you "lost it" in some superimposed time. You are acting like you can in a challenging situation. Let yourself experience, feel, and mature in your slow ways. You’re built stronger each day through the simple things you can do every day.
Disclaimer:
The content provided on this blog is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute legal advice. Laws and regulations are complex, frequently subject to change, and may vary depending on jurisdiction. As such, readers should not act upon or rely on any information presented on this blog without first consulting with a qualified and licensed attorney who can address and tailor guidance to your unique legal circumstances.
